Curses Archive
Minor inconveniences to wish upon your enemies.
May your socks always slide down inside your shoes.
May you always feel like you're about to sneeze, but never actually do.
May your popcorn always have an unpopped kernel in every handful.
May your Wi-Fi signal be just weak enough to be frustratingly slow, but not weak enough to disconnect.
May both sides of your pillow be warm.
May you always forget the word you were about to say.
May your shoelaces always come untied.
May you always get a piece of food stuck in your teeth.
May your streaming service buffer at the most crucial moment of a show.
May you always step on a Lego when barefoot.
May your toast always land butter-side down.
May you forever have a song stuck in your head.
May you always pick the slowest checkout line.
May your phone battery always be at 10%.
May you always get a paper cut when handling paper.
May you never find a comfortable sleeping position.
May your pen run out of ink during an important note.
May you always have an itch in a place you can't scratch.
May your keys always be in the last place you look.
May every traffic light you approach turn red.
May your ice cream always drip on your hand.
May you always misread the 'push' or 'pull' on a door.
May your zippers always get stuck.
May your computer update at the most inconvenient times.
May you always have to re-read a page in a book because you zoned out.
May your glasses always be smudged.
May you never find a matching pair of socks.
May your chair always make a weird noise when you move.
May you always feel like you've forgotten something.
May you always have a small rock in your shoe.
May your automatic faucet never detect your hands.
May you always be one cent short when paying with cash.
May your soda always be a little bit flat.
May your headphones get tangled no matter how carefully you store them.
May you always think of the perfect comeback hours later.
May you always forget why you walked into a room.
May your autocorrect always change a word to something embarrassing.
May your vending machine snack always get stuck.
May you always be on the verge of a yawn that never comes.
May your chapstick always be in your other pants.
May you always feel a phantom phone vibration in your pocket.
May your headphones get snagged on every doorknob.
May you always get the squeaky shopping cart.
May your shampoo and conditioner run out at different times.
May there always be one more stair than you expect in the dark.
May you always have to log back into your accounts.
May your straw always have a tiny hole in it.
May you always feel a single hair on your face but never be able to find it.
May your cookie always break and fall into your milk.
May you never find the end of the tape roll.
May your coffee always taste faintly of soap.
May your tea always be slightly lukewarm.
May your cereal always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your soup always be a little too salty.
May your noodles always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your salad always load with agonizing slowness.
May your pizza always crash without saving.
May your sandwich always be just a bit off-center.
May your burger always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your fries always be interrupted at the best part.
May your emails always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your texts always be told slightly wrong.
May your code always have the ending spoiled.
May your spreadsheets always be just out of focus.
May your presentations always taste faintly of soap.
May your documents always be slightly lukewarm.
May your drawings always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your designs always be a little too salty.
May your dreams always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your thoughts always load with agonizing slowness.
May your plans always crash without saving.
May your jokes always be just a bit off-center.
May your stories always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your memories always be interrupted at the best part.
May your ideas always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your arguments always be told slightly wrong.
May your coffee always have the ending spoiled.
May your tea always be just out of focus.
May your cereal always taste faintly of soap.
May your soup always be slightly lukewarm.
May your noodles always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your salad always be a little too salty.
May your pizza always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your sandwich always load with agonizing slowness.
May your burger always crash without saving.
May your fries always be just a bit off-center.
May your emails always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your texts always be interrupted at the best part.
May your code always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your spreadsheets always be told slightly wrong.
May your presentations always have the ending spoiled.
May your documents always be just out of focus.
May your drawings always taste faintly of soap.
May your designs always be slightly lukewarm.
May your dreams always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your thoughts always be a little too salty.
May your plans always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your jokes always load with agonizing slowness.
May your stories always crash without saving.
May your memories always be just a bit off-center.
May your ideas always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your arguments always be interrupted at the best part.
May your coffee always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your tea always be told slightly wrong.
May your cereal always have the ending spoiled.
May your soup always be just out of focus.
May your noodles always taste faintly of soap.
May your salad always be slightly lukewarm.
May your pizza always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your sandwich always be a little too salty.
May your burger always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your fries always load with agonizing slowness.
May your emails always crash without saving.
May your texts always be just a bit off-center.
May your code always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your spreadsheets always be interrupted at the best part.
May your presentations always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your documents always be told slightly wrong.
May your drawings always have the ending spoiled.
May your designs always be just out of focus.
May your dreams always taste faintly of soap.
May your thoughts always be slightly lukewarm.
May your plans always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your jokes always be a little too salty.
May your stories always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your memories always load with agonizing slowness.
May your ideas always crash without saving.
May your arguments always be just a bit off-center.
May your coffee always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your tea always be interrupted at the best part.
May your cereal always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your soup always be told slightly wrong.
May your noodles always have the ending spoiled.
May your salad always be just out of focus.
May your pizza always taste faintly of soap.
May your sandwich always be slightly lukewarm.
May your burger always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your fries always be a little too salty.
May your emails always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your texts always load with agonizing slowness.
May your code always crash without saving.
May your spreadsheets always be just a bit off-center.
May your presentations always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your documents always be interrupted at the best part.
May your drawings always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your designs always be told slightly wrong.
May your dreams always have the ending spoiled.
May your thoughts always be just out of focus.
May your plans always taste faintly of soap.
May your jokes always be slightly lukewarm.
May your stories always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your memories always be a little too salty.
May your ideas always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your arguments always load with agonizing slowness.
May your coffee always crash without saving.
May your tea always be just a bit off-center.
May your cereal always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your soup always be interrupted at the best part.
May your noodles always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your salad always be told slightly wrong.
May your pizza always have the ending spoiled.
May your sandwich always be just out of focus.
May your burger always taste faintly of soap.
May your fries always be slightly lukewarm.
May your emails always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your texts always be a little too salty.
May your code always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your spreadsheets always load with agonizing slowness.
May your presentations always crash without saving.
May your documents always be just a bit off-center.
May your drawings always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your designs always be interrupted at the best part.
May your dreams always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your thoughts always be told slightly wrong.
May your plans always have the ending spoiled.
May your jokes always be just out of focus.
May your stories always taste faintly of soap.
May your memories always be slightly lukewarm.
May your ideas always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your arguments always be a little too salty.
May your coffee always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your tea always load with agonizing slowness.
May your cereal always crash without saving.
May your soup always be just a bit off-center.
May your noodles always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your salad always be interrupted at the best part.
May your pizza always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your sandwich always be told slightly wrong.
May your burger always have the ending spoiled.
May your fries always be just out of focus.
May your emails always taste faintly of soap.
May your texts always be slightly lukewarm.
May your code always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your spreadsheets always be a little too salty.
May your presentations always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your documents always load with agonizing slowness.
May your drawings always crash without saving.
May your designs always be just a bit off-center.
May your dreams always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your thoughts always be interrupted at the best part.
May your plans always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your jokes always be told slightly wrong.
May your stories always have the ending spoiled.
May your memories always be just out of focus.
May your ideas always taste faintly of soap.
May your arguments always be slightly lukewarm.
May your coffee always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your tea always be a little too salty.
May your cereal always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your soup always load with agonizing slowness.
May your noodles always crash without saving.
May your salad always be just a bit off-center.
May your pizza always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your sandwich always be interrupted at the best part.
May your burger always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your fries always be told slightly wrong.
May your emails always have the ending spoiled.
May your texts always be just out of focus.
May your code always taste faintly of soap.
May your spreadsheets always be slightly lukewarm.
May your presentations always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your documents always be a little too salty.
May your drawings always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your designs always load with agonizing slowness.
May your dreams always crash without saving.
May your thoughts always be just a bit off-center.
May your plans always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your jokes always be interrupted at the best part.
May your stories always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your memories always be told slightly wrong.
May your ideas always have the ending spoiled.
May your arguments always be just out of focus.
May your coffee always taste faintly of soap.
May your tea always be slightly lukewarm.
May your cereal always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your soup always be a little too salty.
May your noodles always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your salad always load with agonizing slowness.
May your pizza always crash without saving.
May your sandwich always be just a bit off-center.
May your burger always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your fries always be interrupted at the best part.
May your emails always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your texts always be told slightly wrong.
May your code always have the ending spoiled.
May your spreadsheets always be just out of focus.
May your presentations always taste faintly of soap.
May your documents always be slightly lukewarm.
May your drawings always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your designs always be a little too salty.
May your dreams always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your thoughts always load with agonizing slowness.
May your plans always crash without saving.
May your jokes always be just a bit off-center.
May your stories always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your memories always be interrupted at the best part.
May your ideas always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your arguments always be told slightly wrong.
May your coffee always have the ending spoiled.
May your tea always be just out of focus.
May your cereal always taste faintly of soap.
May your soup always be slightly lukewarm.
May your noodles always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your salad always be a little too salty.
May your pizza always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your sandwich always load with agonizing slowness.
May your burger always crash without saving.
May your fries always be just a bit off-center.
May your emails always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your texts always be interrupted at the best part.
May your code always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your spreadsheets always be told slightly wrong.
May your presentations always have the ending spoiled.
May your documents always be just out of focus.
May your drawings always taste faintly of soap.
May your designs always be slightly lukewarm.
May your dreams always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your thoughts always be a little too salty.
May your plans always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your jokes always load with agonizing slowness.
May your stories always crash without saving.
May your memories always be just a bit off-center.
May your ideas always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your arguments always be interrupted at the best part.
May your coffee always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your tea always be told slightly wrong.
May your cereal always have the ending spoiled.
May your soup always be just out of focus.
May your noodles always taste faintly of soap.
May your salad always be slightly lukewarm.
May your pizza always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your sandwich always be a little too salty.
May your burger always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your fries always load with agonizing slowness.
May your emails always crash without saving.
May your texts always be just a bit off-center.
May your code always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your spreadsheets always be interrupted at the best part.
May your presentations always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your documents always be told slightly wrong.
May your drawings always have the ending spoiled.
May your designs always be just out of focus.
May your dreams always taste faintly of soap.
May your thoughts always be slightly lukewarm.
May your plans always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your jokes always be a little too salty.
May your stories always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your memories always load with agonizing slowness.
May your ideas always crash without saving.
May your arguments always be just a bit off-center.
May your coffee always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your tea always be interrupted at the best part.
May your cereal always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your soup always be told slightly wrong.
May your noodles always have the ending spoiled.
May your salad always be just out of focus.
May your pizza always taste faintly of soap.
May your sandwich always be slightly lukewarm.
May your burger always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your fries always be a little too salty.
May your emails always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your texts always load with agonizing slowness.
May your code always crash without saving.
May your spreadsheets always be just a bit off-center.
May your presentations always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your documents always be interrupted at the best part.
May your drawings always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your designs always be told slightly wrong.
May your dreams always have the ending spoiled.
May your thoughts always be just out of focus.
May your plans always taste faintly of soap.
May your jokes always be slightly lukewarm.
May your stories always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your memories always be a little too salty.
May your ideas always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your arguments always load with agonizing slowness.
May your coffee always crash without saving.
May your tea always be just a bit off-center.
May your cereal always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your soup always be interrupted at the best part.
May your noodles always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your salad always be told slightly wrong.
May your pizza always have the ending spoiled.
May your sandwich always be just out of focus.
May your burger always taste faintly of soap.
May your fries always be slightly lukewarm.
May your emails always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your texts always be a little too salty.
May your code always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your spreadsheets always load with agonizing slowness.
May your presentations always crash without saving.
May your documents always be just a bit off-center.
May your drawings always feature a minor but unfixable flaw.
May your designs always be interrupted at the best part.
May your dreams always be just plausible enough to cause doubt.
May your thoughts always be told slightly wrong.
May your plans always have the ending spoiled.
May your jokes always be just out of focus.
May your stories always taste faintly of soap.
May your memories always be slightly lukewarm.
May your ideas always contain a rogue cilantro leaf.
May your arguments always be a little too salty.
May your coffee always have a typo you only see after sending.
May your tea always load with agonizing slowness.
May your cereal always crash without saving.